The Dangerous Power Of The Mind

When people speak of the power of the mind they typically are assuming that it is a good thing. Sometimes anecdotal stories also refer to the mind's "unusual" powers, like using visualization to cure an illness. But there is a dark side to our mental powers as well.

Any power can be used for good or bad purposes. The problem with the power of the mind is that it not only can be used for bad purposes, but it can simultaneously convince the "user" that his or her purposes are in fact good. I put "user" in quotation marks because in these cases we are not really using the mind so much as it is using us.

Granted we have to allow ourselves to be used, but this is common. Once we identify strongly with our own thought processes and accept the mistaken idea that our mind is our "self," we tend to follow it blindly. (A person is much more than a mind, but that's a discussion for another time.) And it is powerful. The mind is able to find a logical reason for almost anything that we find ourselves doing or thinking.

A quick example: Suppose you saw a man going into a theater mumbling, "I hate this movie." Later he comes out complaining about it. Then you see him return to the same movie again and again, the whole time hating it and complaining about it. You might think this is silly at best, or verging on mental illness. But how often do people return to the same mental movies (bad memories) again and again even though they cause pain? The mind has an excuse ready, of course. It might suggest that this is how one "resolves" issues from the past - despite no evidence of any resolution. In fact, some people can revisit the same negative memories and thoughts for a lifetime.

(Finding some resolution to problems through revisiting the past may be possible when it's the actual goal and when appropriate techniques and/or professional help are used. But this is not what most dwelling on the past is about though.)

That's an example of being under the influence of the mind. All of us have times when the mind is using us rather than the other way around. This can be especially true in those who have made a form of religion out of logic and reason.

For an example of that lets look at the June 2008 issue of Liberty magazine, whose writers and readers are known for their esteeming of reason above almost everything else. In that issue they published the results of a poll of readers. Here are some of the questions they asked:

"Suppose that a parent of a newborn baby places it in front of a picture window and sells tickets to anyone wishing to observe the child starve to death. He makes it clear that the child is free to leave at any time, but that anyone crossing the lawn will be viewed as trespassing. Would you cross the lawn to help the child? Would helping the child violate the parent's right?"

Fortunately, despite all of their arguments for property rights and the rights of all people (including babies) to be left alone to make their own decisions, 90.9% said they would cross the lawn. Of course the scary part is the 9% who would not help. In fact, in response to the second question, 24.1% said crossing would violate the parents rights.

This is fascinating, and I think it serves as a good example of being under the influence of the power of the mind. Virtually everyone's first reaction is to help the baby, yet some people are so under the control of the thoughts in their own minds (their philosophy) that they would refuse, or at least feel bad for "violating the parents rights" as they followed their hearts.
Read more

It's About Relationships, Not Food!

Beginning in infancy, relationships, food and feeding become intertwined. Think about it: Baby cries and baby gets fed. Someone has to do that feeding, and that someone is usually holding the baby and relating to him or her. So, from our earliest memories, food and being fed is one of our first ways of connecting to one another. As we grow and develop, social events often revolve around mealtimes; whether it is family dinner or a social gathering with friends, we are enjoying the nurturing that food and company can provide.

With the eating-disordered population, however, the connection between food and relationship can become a troublesome link. When there is a lack of safe, connected, nurturing relationships in an individual's life, food and food rituals can easily become a substitute.

As Susan H. Sands, PhD says: "It is now generally accepted that eating disorders serve essential self-regulatory functions. The disordered relationship to food has been viewed, essentially, as filling in for a missing bond with a self-regulating Other".

What exactly does Sands mean? Let's take the first phrase:

"It is now generally accepted that eating disorders serve essential self-regulatory functions." What does it mean to self-regulate? Most of us have learned how to emotionally self-regulate; for instance, if we are upset we find ways to calm down. The ability to calm or self-soothe is usually learned in relation to a calming and soothing Other. For example, when a child falls down and hurts her knee and is crying, Mommy picks her up and comforts her. But what if Mommy doesn't do this? What if she yells at the child and blames her for being so clumsy? Then the child has to turn elsewhere for soothing. Here is where turning to food in order to self-regulate or self-soothe can begin.

I have yet to meet someone suffering from an eating disorder who does not also suffer from a relational trauma, by which I mean that the person grew up without the experience of a caregiver being attuned to them and their needs and acting as a source of comfort when they were stressed or hurt. The caregiver was either absent or blaming and generally not attuned to the child. As Susan Sands so eloquently puts it: "The disordered relationship to food has been viewed, essentially, as filling in for a missing bond with a self-regulating Other."
For more info- http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=41829&cn=46